Monday, February 13, 2012

For what?????

I have often been told that I know how to do a lot of different things.  I have also been told that I am non-committal, a dreamer, and crazy.  The thing that I have discovered about myself amid all of these labels is that I love to learn.  There really isn't a subject out there that I am not interested in on some level.  I find everything at least mildly captivating.  I dream of taking a pottery class.  I love to discuss physics with my sister.  I can't wait until I have some more wood in my garage to mess with.  I love ballroom dancing, landscape painting, restoring furniture, travel, etc.  I would love to learn how to rock climb.  I think of sitting in a class and just absorbing knowledge and it seems heavenly.  But there is always this question looming, whether I ask it of myself or I hear it from others - what for?  What are you doing this for?  Why are you taking this class?  What is your objective?  See, there's my problem.  I often feel like I can't explore unless there is some sort of paycheck at the end.  I feel like this world likes to say that you can't learn unless you are going to make it work for you.  Like learning isn't worth anything unless there is some sort of reimbursement.  I have struggled with this for so long.  Why can't I learn about anything and everything just for the sake of exploring it?  I have worked at sooooo many different jobs.  In college I moved to a new apartment almost every semester and had oodles of roommates along the way.  I took tons of classes that didn't apply to my major.   Thus the labels, but I don't regret any of it because I learned something new with each experience.  No, I am not a master of any one subject.  I would say that I am not even mediocre at most things, and that has tortured me sometimes, but as I have pondered it more - who cares?  I like to try new things just for the sake of trying it.
So here's the challenge.  Let go of the end.  Try something new.  Don't be burdened by needing to justify it.  You don't have to be good at what you try to make it meaningful and worthwhile.  It doesn't have to make you money later or lead to some sort of occupation or life change.  Just learn because it interests you and nothing more.  If it leads somewhere, great, if not - great too. 
Sculpture, knitting, photography, science, botany, history, religion, auto mechanics, woodworking, heck - if learning about the life cycle of a newt interests you, go for it!  Take a class, watch a tutorial, pick up a tool.  With the Internet, so much amazing information is yours for the taking.  I have watched countless tutorials online about sewing, cake decoration, painting, home repair, gardening.  It's worthwhile because you like it.  You are worthwhile.  Learning is still fun, can still be yours, and does not need to lead anywhere but to wake up your mind.  You are still a work in progress.  You are not set in stone.  There isn't an age limit to growth for the sake of growth. 
I don't like the term - invest in yourself.  It infers that anything you put into grooming yourself and your mind has to then produce some sort of tangible return.  So if my learning to sew doesn't have me creating a new wardrobe for my family or selling some handcrafted thing on etsy, then it was a bad investment?  I say no.  If learning to sew leads to absolutely nothing except that now I know something I didn't before then to me, that's enough. 
I have come to terms with the fact that I am one of those people who could accurately be deemed, 'Jack of all trades, master of none.'  It's okay.  Each roommate, each job, each class, each trip, each book, each tutorial, each experience leads to a me that listens to people more.  Leads to a me that realizes I don't know everything.  Leads to a me that can hopefully see from a broader perspective.  There are a few subjects that I constantly try to do better at and expect results of myself for sure - motherhood and marriage for example.  I have a feeling though, everything I learn adds to my capacity in those areas as well.
I bet your city offers classes in just about anything you could be interested in.  Go for it.  I think I'll take tennis next month, I'll probably suck at it, and that's okay. :)

6 comments:

McArthur Family said...

AMEN!!! I'm with ya. I too love to learn new things just because it's fun. I think there's joy in knowledge and in creating. I'm reminded of Elder Uctdorf's talk about Creating from a few General Relief Society meetings ago (maybe 3 years ago or so).

I think your energy and drive to learn is wonderful!

shannen said...

Thank you for this. I too have been struggling with this very thing lately. There has been something that I have wanted to do but felt it was a waste of time because it serves no purpose in the end other than the fact that it makes me utterly and completely blissfully happy. It is a skill that will most likely never be put to good use so I couldn't justify the time it woud take in learning it. Maybe I'll jump back into my online lessons that I've set aside in "mom/wife guilt". :)

Cheryl said...

I'm exactly the same! For years I have been saying that I want to take a carpentry class, a sign language class, voice lessons, piano lessons, gardening, photography but I don't really want to major in anything in particular. I just want to learn and do all sorts of things. I read recently that before the world wars, university was a place that you went to in order to get a broad education in all sorts of things...not for a job or money...but just to be an educated, well rounded individual. It wasn't until the GI bill and the military advertising that you could go to college and make money that education was supposed to get you to something in particular to make a living. Glad there's others out there like me!

Anonymous said...

I understand where you’re coming from and can honestly say that I agree and I think its’ a good thing to want to learn. I don’t agree with you on one point however and that is that YOU in particular have not mastered any one thing. Anyone who knows you in the slightest knows that you have a knack for decorating, a beautiful singing voice, can make cakes that put Martha Stewart to shame and are great at just about anything to do with the arts. So, sorry honey, on that point, you’re just dead wrong! =)

Casey Lu said...

I completely agree and I have felt this very same thing! I love to learn and enjoy learning everything that I can. Whether online about sewing, crafts, home projects, or even at school. I love every but if it. That is another reason why I decided to go back to school.

Erika said...

I have talked with my mom and sisters a lot about this. I am not great at any one thing but pretty good at a lot of things. It used to bother me as a teenager that I didn't have some glaring talent in dance/singing/a musical instrument, etc. But now I like it, because I like so many different things. And I am not afraid to try new ones. Like you, I sometimes get frustrated that I am not the BEST at all the things I like...but I really couldn't pick which one to give up so that I could excel at only one. Nice post. I can relate definitely!