Breakfast ham cups.....

 You simply place a slice of ham in the bottom of a muffin tin to make a "cup."  Then you put a little bit of cheese in the bottom of the cup and cover with beaten egg.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.  It's that simple.  They feed a crowd quickly and they re-heat beautifully. 

No carbs, full of protien, and super yummy to boot!  You seriously can't beat that.  Oh and they are fast to make. 

Dear Children...

When I was young I had really big dreams.  I imagined packed houses on opening nights, my name on a billboard, penthouse apartment in NY, stuff like that.  By now I was supposed to be in a completely different place.  But this morning as I was patting the back of my 2 month old with one hand and pouring milk over cheerios with the other it struck me that I am in the right place.  You are worth it. I dedicate my life to you and your Dad.  Every load of laundry, every washed dish is part of my pledge to you and an expression of my love.  There aren't any applause now, there aren't glamorous costumes or lights, but there are other things.  There are sweet little hugs, kissing your chubby cheeks, and hearing you call for me in the night.  You will never know the girl I was, the girl who stood on a stage and that used to make me a little sad.  But now I realize that you will know the woman that I was always meant to be and that is the woman who is cheering you on. 
I love you. 
Mom.

Faux Fireplace love!

I have always wanted a big fireplace.  I live in Arizona so I don't really want the "fire" part, just the mantel really.  I love the idea of hanging stockings, beautiful mantel-scapes for every season, love love love!  Well, my home doesn't have a fireplace.  I thought about building one and was actually drawing up plans when I decided to look online and found a used one that was absolutely perfect.  Here's the process

Here's my handsome husband with the mantel after we first brought it home.  I loved the shape but not the coloring.

 

I cleaned it and then painted the base white.  Then I stained the top a dark walnut.

 

I cut a pallet in half for the hearth then sanded and stained it.  We attatched beadboard to the wall to fill in the empty fireplace and give some texture.

 

I love how it turned out!  I will post mantel-scapes for each new season.  Yay!

 



It's been a while....

I'm so crafty, I make people!

Yup, I've been away for a while now.  I was a little busy bringing this little guy into the world.  :)  I am so happy to show him off!

 

Roman

 

I love the name, I love the boy, I love the hair!  Yes, it's love.

Privileged

It is Thursday night and school starts on Monday.  I have gone to meet the teacher and check out the classroom.  I have given pep-talks and bought new shoes.  School supplies are already packed in the back pack and the fridge in the garage is full of juice boxes and lunch "stuff".  I am sitting here while my lovelies sleep upstairs.  This last week I have been doing the whole school clothes shopping thing.  One particular day I was wandering into a store and it struck me how privileged I am to be doing this.  As much as I could grumble about the expense, time, irritation it is to do it, I am more than anything - grateful.  What a sublime privilege it is to have these three little bodies to clothe.  How blessed I feel that I live in a place where I can easily purchase the things that they need and send them to a school that is safe.  How lucky I am to be their mother.  My kids have issues, some more serious than others, and sometimes I would love to escape their antics but they are mine.  Each smile, each slobbery kiss, each pony-tail is mine to see and cherish.  They irritate me and drive me to near insanity but I love them more than I knew I could love.  I am feeling so grateful to kiss their cheeks and send them off to another year where they will become more of the person they are going to be.  I'm excited to get to know them as they change before my eyes.  Life is complicated, expensive, sticky, and cluttered but most of all - it's good, and it's mine, and once again - I am grateful. 

Vacation....

I needed a rest.  I fought for a rest.  Vacation was coming and I was ready.  I cleaned the house, scrubbed out the refrigerator, packed and unpacked and packed again, planned for every possible scenario.  I rearranged piano lessons, therapy sessions, doctors visits, and more.  I even squeezed in my daughters tonsillectomy so that we wouldn't have a nasty ear nose and throat situation whilst on my dream getaway.  Puerto Vallarta called to me.  Sandy beaches, swimming in the waves with my lovelies, building sand castles and my tan all at once, my dreams were lofty but I felt they were coming.  I had crafts ready, floaties inflated, meal plans and shopping lists at the ready.  I even packed each outfit with coordinating underwear and hair accessories for each child in marked, airtight ziploc baggies - a secret that pinterest claimed would simplify and uplift by travel experience.   My husband and I were going to provide our children with the trip of a lifetime.  They would thank us for this for years to come.  They would appreciate each coordinating outfit, plane snack, and coloring page I had created for them.  I could barely sleep the night before in pure anticipation.
Then it came.
We waded through the mess that is traveling with three children under the age of 6 and a pregnant mother to an international location.  We found taxi's and paid tips, opened endless fruit snacks and sang "twinkle twinkle little star".  Through it all I maintained my hope, my enthusiasm, my vision of what life would be like on "vacation." This dream that I would find myself relaxing on a beach with a cool drink in my hand while my husband frolicked in the pool with my perfectly obedient and exceptionally clean toddlers.
We finally arrived.  We checked in to the resort, dragged 8 pieces of various luggage up to our room, opened the ziploc baggies labeled "new swimsuit", sprayed ourselves with spf 50 and headed out.  That is precisely the moment where reality and the "vision" collided.  When we reached the pool and someone was crying because they had sunscreen in their eyes.  A floatie came off.  This one needed a snack, that one needed to pee.  Someone went out of turn at the water slide causing immediate chaos, mosquitoes, pouting, etc. etc. etc.  So this is vacation.
The reality of vacation is this:  moments of pure bliss surrounded by real mom-ness.  There were bug bites and sun burns, threatening glances to menacing strangers, hot sand, peeing on beds, blown out diapers on pirate ships (yes, you read correctly and there is a long, disgusting story to go along with that one), sandy bum cracks, diaper rash, threats, terrible picture taking, endless correcting and kissing of owies, and one strung-out mommy trying to keep two eyes on three children all the while needing to take her pregnant bladder to the bathroom. 
I have to say though, there was a moment when it was all worth it.  When my vision was so real it literally made my cry with excruciating happiness.  We had gone on a pirate ship adventure that is geared for families.  It was amazing, wonderful, entertaining, delicious, etc. all rolled into one.  They take you on a short cruise in a real pirate ship, staffed by pirates who sing to you and bring you food and drinks (yeah baby!), to a private beach.  When you put your feet on sand they have beach chairs with umbrellas waiting, cool drinks, and activities for everyone.  It was magical.  I was amazed when one pirate scooped up my two little boys, loaded them up on a canoe and happily rode them out to a lagoon to feed fish.  Shannon played with my husband in a small inlet where they watched minnows.  I stood watching it all in amazement.  Each person whom I love most happy, entertained, and feeling cherished.  I was in heaven.  I literally stood there with tears coming down my cheeks.  I was on a perfect beach, on a perfect day, with the perfect people - it was well - perfect. 

So, vacations are what they are which is kind of a mess.  They are humid, dirty, stress-filled chaos with moments of absolute loveliness woven in-between.  In the end, it was worth it.  If I get to choose one day, one moment, to pattern my version of heaven after - I know exactly which one it will be. 
So now I'm off to wash the mountain of laundry with a smile on my face.  I am exhausted and could really use a day off after my vacation but you know what?  I can't wait until next time.  :)

Why do we need each other????

I got a call from a close friend about a month ago and she was in tears.  She explained that she was lonely.  She said that she lives in an area where there really aren't many women her age to associate with.  It is a military base area where people move in and out frequently and she was struggling.  She said, "I need some kindred spirits!"  She had had a conversation with another woman who told her she shouldn't have these feelings - that her husband was all the friend that she should need.  This only intensified my friends sadness and guilt because now, not only was she lonely, she felt like a bad wife.
 
This conversation has been tickling my consciousness for a while now.  Do I really need other women in my life or can my husband fill all of those rolls?  Is that even fair to expect of him?  My answer is:  I don't know.  I don't know that there is a right or wrong to those questions.  I have a fantastic husband whom I confide in and trust with everything that I am.  He fills the pieces of our little world that I cannot.  He is my prince charming and goof ball friend all rolled into one.  I love hanging out with him any chance I get.  But there is something about 'girls night' or 'park day' that I look forward to every time it comes. 

I went to the park today with a bunch of ladies from church.  Some of whom I know well and others I don't really know at all.  I tried to talk with everyone I could.  The conversations ranged from episiotomes to cellulite, really good pizza to eczema.  We didn't talk about personal things, we didn't talk about relationships or gossip about whose doing what (which made me very happy because that really makes me uncomfortable), we just laughed with each other.  We had brownies while our kids played.  We compared nail polish and favorite restaurants.  We could relate to each other about stretch marks and nausea, labor and karate class. 

I wouldn't say these women are necessarily "kindred spirits" in the Anne sense.  I don't have much time between soccer and groceries, homework and bedtime to cultivate many intense friendships but, I must say, I felt better after spending time with these amazing, unique, beautiful, understanding, intelligent women.  I felt relieved, like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.  Like maybe now I don't have to carry around all of the crazy, weird, funny thoughts in my head because I got some of them out. 

I still love hanging out with my husband and he is the only person that I share my innermost thoughts with but, perhaps tonight he won't have to hear about my cellulite thighs or which color nail polish I am contemplating.  Maybe there's a context for certain things.  Maybe there's room for both.  Maybe both are necessary.  Maybe both are vital.  Maybe time spent with people of our same gender makes us appreciate and be all the more present in time spent with our spouse. 

So next time you're at the park, or in church, or whenever you get the chance - strike up a conversation.  Ask the lady next to you how she's doing, ask her how old her kids are, ask her what her favorite food is, share the goodies you brought.  You just might find that you feel a little better, a little more in-tune with something, that spending time with one of your sisters makes you a better wife.  Maybe you will find that "kindred spirit" or maybe you will find someone who just laughs at the same time you do - it really doesn't matter either way.  There is something healing about being around other women - the kind of women who uplift you, make you laugh, speak kindly of their husbands, help you with your kids, wipe a nose even if it's not related to them.  There's something indescribable about it that we need.  So, hooray for splash park day and girls night out and talking on the phone.  Husbands - we need time with other women, we are better wives for it, it's time invested not spent.  Women - get out there and talk to someone, if they make you unhappy - move on, but I am sure you will be surprised at how many women out there would love to chat with you and you will both be better for it.

Love,
Me.